angeldemon's Xanga

Saturday, March 06, 2004

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 21:57:30 GMT

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 03:54:03 GMT

~~erg. im at the stage of anger. fuck depression -.-'' angered is good :@ grrrr~~

so sorry to those i cannot seem to get through to. sorry that i can't help with my lousy advice giving. i can barely give Myself advice, i can barely figure my own bullshit out. all i can give is a shoulder to cry on right now. someone to rant off to.

rmb i'll always try to be here for you, whoever you may be. <3

***
i see people having their problems tore their lives apart... i see them cry, i cry silently with them. i see them emotionless, i see them depressed. it hurts to see friends hurt. :'(

[edit]
i forgot something very important in life... i forgot that.. when you love someone so much... that the only thing you want for them is happiness. in my own anger, in my own depression, i forgot that. and i was reminded tonight. and all i hope for is happiness for you. i understand now.

Friday, February 13, 2004

Fri, 13 Feb 2004 04:06:41 GMT

hahaha

isnt it insaaaane how life can change in just the wink of an eye. this year has certainly brought me many, many trials. and i have faced them all. whether it be with support from my friends, or no support.

over these last few days, my mind has been racing. thoughts and emotions coming in and out of my head and heart as fast as lightening comes and goes in vancouver. it has left me with one too many unanswered question, one too many heart wrenching pains. but it has also left me with incredible strength to carry on. every lesson learned is a new step in life.

and to pay tribute to ol' valentines. sigh ...to be corny: love is in the air! im happy for all the couples who are standing strong, giving and taking all the love from each other. im happy for myself... no more drowning in my tears. im sure i will have my moments, but what the fuck lol life goes on :D i've gained so much confidence and become soo much stronger. and i have You to thank and appreciate.

what the future will bring, i no longer have the urge to know, as the curious child i am :p, but to live life day by day and experience. i have learned to appreciate everything life tosses at me-- whether it be good or bad. and yes! i still dont really give a fuck about what everyone says. the opinions that i truly care about, and actually listen to, are only from my True friends. all the other shit? lol yeah i'll listen~ and i'll also laugh it off.

its a new chapter in my life. and i intend to make it a good one :)

[edit]
so dont worry la.... but remember, although my actions do not always match my thoughts...my arms are always open, and welcoming

Friday, January 30, 2004

Fri, 30 Jan 2004 01:53:03 GMT

a guy said this...

"girls are like apples. the best ones are at the top of the tree. the boys don`t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren`t as good, but easy. so the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them....when in reality, they are amazing. that is why you gurls just have to be a little patient and the right boy, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple will come someday and pick you..... "

what a sweetheart eh?

[edit]
so dear i love him that with him
all death i could endure
without him, live no life

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 22:08:11 GMT

life

.
.
.

sigh

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 07:50:00 GMT

props to the following few individuals

tiff <3 * muah *
dlo * hugs *

you guys totally made my night !

n also ...

tambi, nhan, ted, Dcubed (david, darryl dlo), tiff, chan, cindy...special, special peoples in my life-- just for givin me support after falling rock bottem.

heart y'all

"nobody is worth your tears and the ones that are wont make you cry"

and i repeat..

before reading this you've got to note that every word i write, i write with this from david in mind: life is like a pencil without an eraser. what is said is said and what is done is done. no redo. no turning back.

the HUGE issue- me n darren

most IMPORTANT thing. i didn't break up with alex for darren. that never even crossed my mind. Ever.

i'm always with darren.
right after breakup, many tried to be there for me. who actually Reached me? darren. yes, people asked me how am i doing? are you okay? but it takes more than that to make me talk. some felt giving me space was something i wanted. darren kept on pushing and pushing, insisting that i let things out. he became my support. i learned from him and i gradually let others back into my life. from that point, some took things the wrong way about me n darren. but we got through that, which strenghthened our friendship even more.

boyfriend?
no. discussion over winter left us with conclusions that we could have the potential of going out. i like him. but no. we're FRIENDS. no more. no more relationships for me. for now. for a long now.

future future?
who knows.

[edit]
expand on "like"
he can do whatever he wants. he goes clubbing he goes raves he can flirt. he comes back with hickeys with stories. i dont care. we're not in any type of relationship beyond friendship.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Sun, 18 Jan 2004 19:00:14 GMT

Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be

Saturday, January 17, 2004

Sat, 17 Jan 2004 07:27:46 GMT

the HUGE issue- me n darren

most IMPORTANT thing. i didn't break up with alex for darren. that never even crossed my mind. Ever.

future future?
who knows.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Fri, 16 Jan 2004 01:48:25 GMT

are you feelin' a lil blue/lost/angry/happy/[insert emotion]

well then please talk to me!

im all ears. im a good listener. guaranteed!! not much of an advice giver though. im trustable. seriously.

[faq]
do i care if i know you? nope!
do i care if you've never talked to me before? nope!
do i charge? nope! although i am open to tips ;)

open 24/7! monday to sunday.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Tue, 13 Jan 2004 00:55:25 GMT

i dont care if nobody understands why i act this way or that way

i dont care if nobody understands why i think the way i do

i dont care if what i do is right or wrong

i dont care if people assumes this or assumes that.

i just dont have enough power to care anymore

i am such a hypocrite.

[edit] just for you tiff ;)